153 Of 365 (366) For 2012

[ All credit to mly2000, whose lovely picture may be found here. ]



“Success is stumbling from failure to failure with no loss of enthusiasm.”



[ Winston Churchill ]

11 thoughts on “153 Of 365 (366) For 2012

  1. Two points?! Oo… that must smart! Sounds like a Florida election.
    Churchill might have been a bit odd (he was half-American ;)… like some other people we might mention), but inspiration was in his blood. Of his conquered stuttering, he said: “My impediment is no hindrance”.
    As the Girl Guides say: “You go girl!”

    • Yeah wasn’t one of my finest days so far.

      Especially since (if you failed) they send the results out as registered letters, so it kinnda feels like waiting for one of those Widowmakers from WW II that would run the telegrams for newly widowed soldiers wives by their houses – Phil actually almost opened the door for him butt-naked b/c he was so confused 😉

      Poor boys! They know what they are delivering too! You can just see in their eyes and the way their entire body language pleads with you to not kill the messenger 😉

      Love that you apply Girl Guides – Had been feeling quite down in the dumps about all of this (and throwing myself a bit of a pity party including massiv amounts of chocolate and ice-cream like any true Guuurl in this situation would do), but now I feel ready to go up and at ’em again. 😉

      As for the half-american – Well, I’m a strong believer in mutts making for the smartest dogs, so why wouldn’t that work for people – or maybe than I would have past that wrotten written the first time around 😉

    • Yeah, that’s pretty much how I felt for the first 10 mins – then I started feeling sorry for myself for the next couple of hours and now – thoroughly sugar induced (thank God for dove bars!) – I’m humming Eye of the Tiger and trying to see this as an opportunity to not just pass this stupid thing next time, but to own it! 🙂

  2. I think you did phenomenal considering that this year has been transitional for you. To only miss it by two points means that you know what you need to know and I am so excited that you were able to get so close. I mean, if you missed it by half of all the points you might have given up on this process, 2 points can easily be attributed to the stress of the whole thing. Boy were you stressed! And next time? You will know what to expect. 🙂

    And altough it is still pretty wretched to have to do it again, you are teaching us all how to get up again after being knocked down.

    That being said, you totally need some space and time to wallow, maybe even grieve the time lost? Put some hot fudge on that ice cream for me!

    • You are TOO sweet! Seriously! I’d love to swing buy and take you out for huge, LARGER THAN LIFE, hot fudge sundays! -Ah well, perfect world and all that, right? 😉

      I’m actually dealing okay with it – so far 3-5 minor sobbing moments, but seriously nothing to write home about they didn’t even last a minute: I ment it when I said I haven’t laughed that much in weeks (or maybe monthes).

      The time lost is an issue, but considering that I’m not going to give up on my last try, I think it’ll actually be worth something in the end – That being said, I rarely consider time wasted. Even if you don’t end up with the outcome you envisioned you rarely walk away with it with nothing – That’s how it is for me in any case.

      You are right that stress played a huge deal in it and I know I will have to work on my anxiety levels next time around (kind of think that should be my main point of work actually). But who knows, I’m going to try to reach a professor-friend of mine who tutors this week and see if he has time to sit down with me and work out a better study plan with me or something. Also I will have to wait about a monthes for them to open my file, so that I can actually see the point by point critique of the two people who graded my papers and see if there is anything in there I can correct next time around.

      The thing I’m dealing with most right now is “the green monster”. A friend of mine took the exam with me and she passed. Although I’m thrilled for her (especially since she had already failed it once before and it was her final attempt), I really have to try to not focus on the “Why her and not me questions”. (Especially since, in all brutal honesty, I believe to be better than her – ugggh. I even feel like writing this here makes me a bad person, but what I can I do, I’m keeping it real).

      In any case I’m keeping my head high and my chin up – it’s like WorryWart said: I’m gonna crush that goal!

      Hugs :*

    • Thanks Paprika! I am doing just that (well that and gorging myself on ice cream 😉 ) – How did your husband cope? Was it very tough on him?

      • It was tough on him. He was disappointed, frustrated and felt like he had wasted his time studying while sacrificing time we could have spent together, all understandable emotions in this situation. He stewed with those feelings for a few weeks, but knew that he was going to need to retake the test. Eventually, he analzyed his test results and how he felt about his performance and narrowed down the areas in which he felt the weakest. Those were the areas he focused his studying on for the next exam. I give him a lot of credit for having the guts to keep going and not give up.

        I’m sure that once this initial shock has passed, you’ll start studying again and kick that test’s ass when you retake it.

        • Yes, I can totally relate to the feeling of frustration and dissapointment – Weirdly (and I can’t tell you why) I’m not really stewing in those emotions as I thought I would.

          Almost instantly (and I mean within minutes!) this sort of logical emotion (I know that doesn’t make sense, but there is no other way to put it) kicked in and I started planning out the next steps. It didn’t feel like I was pushing my emotions away either – it just felt natural to put the past in the past and move forward a.s.a.p. – Which is totally out of character for me since I am a dweller most of the time.

          Not to say, the first 3 days weren’t rough – I’d start mini-sobbing (like 30 seconds interalls) from time to time, but it almost immediately turned into laughter.

          Not sure exactly why I am so calm about all of this, but I’m taking it as a good omen!

          I give your husband a lot of credit, too. It takes guts and determination to reasess yourself and face down a situation again that you left defeated the last time. I’ll be thinking of him come december!

          Thanks for sharing this with me, Paprika – It really made me feel less alone in all of this 🙂

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