132 Of 365 (366) For 2012

[ All credit to alan shapiro photography, whose lovely picture may be found here. ]

 

“A tragedy is a tragedy, and at the bottom, all tragedies are stupid.

 

Give me a choice and I’ll take A Midsummer Night’s Dream over Hamlet every time.

 

Any fool with steady hands and a working set of lungs can build up a house of cards and then blow it down,

 

but it takes a genius to make people laugh.”

 

[ Stephen King ]

126 Of 365 (366) For 2012

[ All credit to verdigris jane, whose lovely picture may be found here. ]

“Weekends don’t count unless you spend them doing something completely pointless.”

[ Bill WattersonCalvin and Hobbes ]

108 Of 365 (366) For 2012

[ All credit to Kristin Manson, whose lovely picture may be found here. ]

“I try to avoid having thoughts.

They lead to other thoughts, and – if you’re not careful – those lead to actions.

Actions make you tired.

I have this on rather good authority from someone who once read it in a book.”

[ Brandon Sanderson ]

107 Of 365 (366) For 2012

[ All credit to (rino), whose lovely picture may be found here. ]

 

“Except for pharmaceutical poison,

there are essentially only two drugs that Western civilization tolerates:

 

Caffeine from Monday to Friday

to energize you enough to make you a productive member of society,

 

and alcohol from Friday to Monday

to keep you too stupid to figure out the prison that you are living in.”

 

[ Bill Hicks (on how the drugs used by a society characterize it) ]

104 Of 365 (366) For 2012

[ All credit to The Dream Seeker, whose lovely picture may be found here. ]

 

“Men marry women with the hope they will never change.

Women marry men with the hope they will change.

Invariably they are both disappointed.”

 

[ Albert Einstein ]

101 Of 365 (366) For 2012

[ All credit to Leonardo Zevallos, whose lovely picture may be found here.  ]

“>The female mind is certainly a devious one, my lord.<

Vetinari looked at his secretary in surprise.

>Well, of course it is.

It has to deal with the male one.<”

[Terry PratchettDiscworld Series Unseen Academicals ]

99 Of 365 (366) For 2012

[ All credit to provincijalka, whose lovely picture may be found here. ]

“>You mean you’re going to send the same form letter

to the Great Pumpkin, Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny?<

 

>Why not?

These guys get so much mail they can’t possibly tell the difference…

I bet they don’t even read the letters themselves! How could they?!

 

The trouble with you,

Charlie Brown,

is you don’t understand how these big organizations work!<”

 

Charles M. Schulz The Complete Peanuts –  Vol. 6: 1961-1962  ]

95 Of 365 (366) For 2012

[ All credit to alan shapiro photography, whose lovely picture may be found here.]

 

“I can believe things that are true

and things that aren’t true

and I can believe things where nobody knows if they’re true or not.

I can believe in Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny

and the Beatles and Marilyn Monroe and Elvis and Mister Ed.

 

Listen – I believe that people are perfectable, that knowledge is infinite,

that the world is run by secret banking cartels

and is visited by aliens on a regular basis,

nice ones that look like wrinkled lemurs

and bad ones who mutilate cattle and want our water and our women.

 

I believe that the future sucks

and I believe that the future rocks

and I believe that one day

White Buffalo Woman is going to come back

and kick everyone’s ass.

 

I believe that all men are just overgrown boys

with deep problems communicating

and that the decline in good sex in America

is coincident with the decline in drive-in movie theaters from state to state.

 

I believe that all politicians are unprincipled crooks

and I still believe that they are better than the alternative.

 

I believe that California is going to sink into the sea

when the big one comes,

while Florida is going to dissolve into madness

and alligators

and toxic waste.

 

I believe that antibacterial soap is destroying our resistance

to dirt and disease

so that one day

we’ll all be wiped out by the common cold

like martians in War of the Worlds.

 

I believe that the greatest poets of the last century

were Edith Sitwell and Don Marquis,

that jade is dried dragon sperm,

and that thousands of years ago

in a former life

I was a one-armed Siberian shaman.

 

I believe that mankind’s destiny lies in the stars.

 

I believe that candy really did taste better when I was a kid,

 

that it’s aerodynamically impossible for a bumble bee to fly,

 

that light is a wave and a particle,

 

that there’s a cat in a box somewhere who’s alive and dead at the same time

(although if they don’t ever open the box to feed it

it’ll eventually just be two different kinds of dead),

 

and that there are stars in the universe

billions of years older than the universe itself.

 

I believe in a personal god who cares about me

and worries

and oversees everything I do.

I believe in an impersonal god who set the universe in motion

and went off to hang with her girlfriends

and doesn’t even know that I’m alive.

I believe in an empty and godless universe of causal chaos,

background noise,

and sheer blind luck.

I believe that anyone who says sex is overrated just hasn’t done it properly.

 

I believe that anyone who claims to know what’s going on will lie about the little things too.

I believe in absolute honesty and sensible social lies.

 

I believe in a woman’s right to choose,

a baby’s right to live,

that while all human life is sacred there’s nothing wrong with the death penalty

if you can trust the legal system implicitly,

and that no one but a moron would ever trust the legal system

with anything of relative importance;

much less matters of life and death.

 

I believe that life is a game,

that life is a cruel joke,

and that life is what happens when you’re alive

and that you might as well lie back and enjoy it.”

 

[ Neil GaimanAmerican Gods ]

People Who Don’t Know Me Think I’m Awesome

“Keep your face to the sunshine and you cannot see the shadow.”

 

[Helen Keller]

 

 

In all honesty, I might have read a similar post somewhere at some point which seems like eons ago, but since I can’t fully remember it might just be my overly vivid imagination.

In any case, I am always blown away by the apparent impact I have on spammers.

One told me recently:

“Thank you so much for your great advice. All my family agrees that the advice given here is great and now I will go back to school.”

This was a spam comment left in reply to my incoherent ramblings on the advantages of waterproof-anything.

Although I am quite flattered, that someone out there feels the need to share this post with their loved-ones and in the aftermath decides to go back to school, I am pretty sure the only advice you could get out of this post is:

“Don’t post, when / if you are in an overly melancholy mood – or do, but be prepared that people will try to link adds for vibrators and such to it in an attempt to cheer you up”

(Although the vibrator spam link might have been in response to the beloved and versatile post, in which case I didn’t need cheering up, but I really can’t remember)

Actually, I quite like those little spam comments. Like them enough to actually consider not trashing them, but adding them as legit comments to my posts.

Why” you ask? – Well, simply because it would be neat to write something, that in turn would encourage someone else to go back to school, or change their life or spend some time with their family reading my posts.

Not only do they make me feel special, but they definitely beat vibrator, weight-loss or breast-enhancement adds.

Now if only the people who do know me would concur, but I guess there really is no sense in being greedy.

Since my words, obviously, have tremendous impact on all those out there (well at least the spammers) – let me leave you my sincere best wishes for 2012 and may we all be surrounded by people, who think we are awesome; – even if they don’t know us.

Update 01/03/12:

This is my new favorite spam-comment – Genius: